Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
