just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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