drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
