I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
