hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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