I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
