Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
