shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
