yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
