Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
