If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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