Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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