Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
