do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
