1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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