Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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