So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
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Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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