Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
