Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
