well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
