his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
