and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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