I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
