Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
