I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
try to milk me bitch
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
