the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
