Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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