So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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