And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...