Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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