I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.