it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
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You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates