What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
