that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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