Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
