You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
