So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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