"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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