With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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