just come out here and I will go home with you...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize