great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
