make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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