we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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