Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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