I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
