i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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