my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
