Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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