Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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