First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
