This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
