I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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