your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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