My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
