is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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