She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
