turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
