we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
