omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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