the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
