What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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