does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
