he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
