I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize