Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
