"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
