Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize