We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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