shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
